girlmeetsribbons | (no subject)

(no subject)

VIVA LA I DO WHAT I WANT. It's a question meme! You know the drill.

I have:

kyriakos
Riley Matthews/Rainbow Lark
Akira Okuzaki/Midori
There's also Xion in queue for like. Plans and things (which is just generally "let her be a little happy")

aather
Rin Hoshizora/Starlit Cat

And if anyone wants to

driftfleet
Piper Halliwell/Peregrine (Aather CRAU)
Kanata Shinonome (AU where she becomes Takamina the 6th)

ask me things okok!

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okay so i am only doing nightingale because i don't think citrine/lark have much to ramble about right now.

Things have shifted just a little bit with Lark and I will need to explain some Tak feelings in here as well, so bear with me!

Like I said above with Cascade it's really difficult to answer relationship mes with Lark just because the nature of who she is. She loves unbiasedly until given reason not to-- And in some ways, she has those reasons right now. Or more so, she has a couple dozen reasons to skirt away and not resurface right now.

This is because I'm unfortunately hitting a point where she might consequentially become unplayable. Lark doesn't feel like she has a "place" in Kyriakos. Which mirrors canon almost tenfold, except it's worse. She's twelve-- maybe thirteen-- and from a world that is generally harmless and the problems can be saved in a few days. This isn't Kyriakos at all. There are trauma games happening almost every one ic week again now and this is going to have a huge impact on her and already is.

Ultimately, she feels she has no direction. If she ever gets placed in a bad situation here she won't be able to help and it's weighing on her. She doesn't think fluffing someone or hugging them is going to be the best answer to someone recently maimed. And she wants to respond better than crying, but naturally can't. Because these things will never not upset her. Life in Kyriakos is getting used to that on a weekly basis, and she can't and won't. And it terrifies her that the others can talk about it so calmly and then go back to being normal the next day. Albeit she will generally ignore it forever, but one of the reasons she's entering unplayable levels is that with the day ratios and the trauma games creeping back up they are happening once a week. So it's unnatural for her to jump from one thing when someone just got maimed five days ago.

That said all of this is important to how she's seeing Takshaka as a whole right now and Nightingale.

She still loves Nightingale. She doesn't lie about that, and frankly, she's a terrible liar. She's more likely to say a horrible truth than lie about something that would inevitably hurt them anyway. She thinks of her as a sister, but I wouldn't say she's like Roc who thinks of her as a mother. Because Lark's been there to see that everyone takes part and does different things to help them. Nightingale is just the oldest and often improptu leader, albeit she sees that as more as Magpie honestly. Magpie is kind of scary, okay!

But a lot of here dere has shifted to intense uncertainty. She doesn't think she's a good Takshaka. She can't help but think that Nightingale will never love them like she did the original ones. Seeing her with Sparrow just kind of kicked that some more since she was obviously so more excited to see her then she'd ever seen them be with any one of them. It doesn't feel like they'll ever equal that kind of excitement to her that they did, and it stings. Even if Nightingale says otherwise actions like that-- especially when looking at them like kicked puppies-- are really difficult for her forget. Even more so balanced with her feelings of 'I don't really fit here at all.

Nightingale also legitimately scares her in some ways. Her telling her they wouldn't let anything happen to her is something that makes her feel guilty and that they'd do something she'd never forgive them about-- since she doesn't want people to get hurt protecting her. But furthered when Nightingale was like 'lemme offer up my body parts so we'll definitely win' made Lark really upset. To a point she cant handle because that. It's not something she can accept and just how easily she said it-- Lark doesn't want to get to that point. She doesn't want anyone to. And hearing Nightingale say that and knowing what Tak would say doing suicide pact meeting really just. Sets all of her buttons off because it is terrifying and maiming yourself shouldn't be something that seems so strictly business.

She knows Nightingale is a good person and she loves her, but she wont forget her asking them to potentially let her get killed or at least ripped apart. Especially since it seemed like she valued herself less.

But mostly Lark has a lot of feelings about things right now and they're really difficult and I have to be careful.

BUSTS IN HERE TO HUG LARK ALL THE WAY FROM CECILIA'S REALM

whines BLUEBIRD COME BACK

sorry she can't be a strong taaak

IT'S MIDNIGHT SO I CAN'T REVERSE PROPERLY BUT

ALSO BUSTS IN TO HUG LARK

i'll give a more detailed reverse tomorrow but for now it's just like

nightingale loev lark. good babby teammate. she wants to protect lark at all costs because she can tell lark is not suited for or able to handle this. but she worries so much about how she keeps accidentally upsetting the babs when she's trying to be good and it's just like

SIMPLEDOGWHINE.JPG

she tries so hard and she cares about lark and hawk so much and really wishes she could do stuff for them WHY CAN'T I JUST HUG THE PROBLEMS BETTER SOMEONE HELP

OKAY IN-DEPTH

the most important thing to note about all of this about nightingale is that. girl is KY as fuck. She doesn't really understand people's feelings unless she's told or they're that obvious! and she never realizes when the shit she does hurts people because she tries really hard not to hurt people. So why would her actions hurt people? She's still kind of unaware of how badly Sparrow was hurt by Nightingale dying in trauma prom instead of her. Similarly, she didn't realize how badly her faces at the start hurt the bab teammates, and she talked it out with Hawk, and kind of thinks the matter is resolved! She's going to be nicer to the tinies, make sure they feel welcome, etc.

That... of course, isn't working so well, because she doesn't know how to feelings worth a damn at all.

She does still value herself less than Tak, but also, she also thinks herself better able to take the bad shit because she's been around longest and had shit like that happen to her at home. So a bit of maiming or dying is fine to her, really. (it's not really she's terrified of dying now.)

but she really does loev lark so much and thinks of her as a little sister, and really wishes she could make things better for Lark somehow. They might need a feelings jam at some point in the future? Because Nightingale isn't aware of half of these problems, because again, KY as fuck.

also citrine and lark need to hang out more and be cute.

Is there anything you particularly want to do with Lark in the future?

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